“This is the most exciting thing I have ever done,” I said to a friend over lunch the other day. I’ve been very few places on my own. I’ve never traveled outside the U.S. and I have only visited a handful of states. I love being a YAV because so far this year I have been to Ghost Ranch in New Mexico where Alicia and I met our friend Byron Wade, the vice-moderator of the 218th General Assembly, and we had the pleasure of showing him around town last week when he came in for the Youth Director’s Convention.
God has taught me some exciting things in the past three months. Discernment never stops. It’s incredible. It doesn’t matter if you are my age, Byron’s age or my friend’s age. We are all discerning God’s voice. I first moved here the day before Gustav. Perfect timing, I know. It was hard for everyone, but not even knowing what a Cat 5 or a Cat 3 was made it a very difficult experience. I didn’t even know what was happening, but I learned that I could survive anything. This was the exciting revelation. If I can survive a major Hurricane, I can survive anything. God really strengthened me that week.
In our egalitarian society it is easy for women of my generation to forget or to not even realize that while being independent is something to be proud of we also need to learn to depend on others. God wants us to depend on him. It was only because we had each other that we made it through the storm.
It’s amazing I’m 4’10” and yet I never realize how short or how small I am until I see myself in pictures. I don’t feel small. I never have. But I sure do worry a lot. How can I settle in here when my heart is still in Oklahoma? There’s a line in a song by Three Dog Night “I’ve never been to heaven/but I’ve been to Oklahoma.”
Kathy Lee, our site director, and Claire Brooks, the pastor and my supervisor at Chinese Presbyterian Church, have done a good job of helping me see the exciting challenge present in this concern.
Matthew 6:25-26 says “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? Why should I worry about these things? It won’t make me any taller in the second place, of which I don’t feel I need in the first place! God really does excite our hearts if only we have the patience to listen for it. – Nov. 2008